For me, one of the most challenging things about being an optimistic coach and motivational speaker is trying to convince people that big goals are achievable, that a great, healthy, abundant life is possible, that you can have it all, that you can love your life, and to do that without coming off like an over-zealous game show host. I don’t know your life… BUT I WANT YOU TO LOVE IT!
Maybe the question to ask is this: If we want it all, what the heck is getting in the way? Because some people have it… health, happiness, fulfillment, prosperity… so if you don’t, what do you need to do differently?!
In our busy, schedule-packed lives as we rush from one commitment to the next … as we attempt to fit in one more thing, and as we wish for a few extra hours, even minutes to get it all done, it’s easy to get stuck in a mindset of ‘Never Enough’.
It sneaks its way into our conversations. There’s never enough time. We put it out there, mostly without realizing it. I don’t have enough energy. It’s part of our every day interactions, or in how we talk to ourselves… there’s never enough money, or clients or opportunities … perhaps so ingrained that we don’t even realize the messaging we’re putting out there.
I call this ‘stuck-in-the-gap’ thinking because it makes us focus on what we don’t have, and the things we feel are missing…the gaps in our lives.
And it occurred to me that maybe the reason so many of us push back against the idea that we can have it all is because we’re burdened by never enough in nearly every aspect of our lives. Some days, it may feel like those gaps are all you see. It’s an easy head space to get caught up in, as you chase to get everything done in the day.
And while it’s likely not happening in every aspect of your life, pay attention to when, and in which circumstances ‘never enough’ shows up for you.
Here’s why: If your ultimate goal is to be better, do better and create a life you love, you won’t get there by looking into the gaps. You won’t get there by fixating on what you don’t have.
If your goal is to do better & create a life you love, you won’t get there by looking into the gaps. Look up!
Yes, there will be times when you’re stretched and stressed, and those ‘never enough’ gaps will pop up everywhere – with health, work, relationships, finances, down-time – and they’ll be hard to ignore. When that happens, lift your head. Rather than stare into the gaps and dwell on what’s missing. Look up, and look forward …to what’s possible. Focus on what you do have. Concentrate on what you have control of right now. Even the small things. Especially the small things.
As you take an inventory of all the good things you’ve got going on around you, you’ll probably discover that the positives far outweigh the crap, and it’s way more enjoyable to hang out in that gratitude space.
More importantly, you can better explore your possibilities from a viewpoint of positivity. With stuck-in-the-gap thinking it’s like deliberately stepping down into a hole to find your way. And when you’re down there, it’s a lot harder to see what’s waiting on the horizon.
I get that when you’re feeling knocked down by life, an abundance mindset can feel a bit ‘fake-it-til-you-make-it’. Believe me, I’ve been there. But consider the alternatives:
- Keep focusing on what you don’t have, and get sucked into crazy-making scarcity thinking…or
- Pay attention to everything that’s working…even the small wins… and build from there.
And avoid the evil comparison trap. It doesn’t matter what friends, family or co-workers are doing with their lives. What do you want for yours? The first step to truly having it all is to identify what enough looks like for you – in work, with your health, your relationships, your finances.
And let me be clear…this is not about settling for less. ‘Enough’ for you might mean ‘SHOOT FOR THE FREAKIN’ STARS’ in everything you do’. But it might also mean choosing a simpler path.
What makes you happy? What level of healthy do you want to be? What sort of relationship do you want? How much is enough for you?
Identify it, write it down, and start looking for small ways to get more of it.
Do the freakin’ work (#DTFW), so you can say – with absolute certainly… I love my life! Watch the video below and then tune in next week as we talk about how to get off auto-pilot and take control of the flight.
Until then, I’m Michelle Cederberg helping you transform your work and life, one recharge at a time.